so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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