But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
