Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
