Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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