i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
My bed smells like the plague
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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