i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Randomize
