The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Randomize
