Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Randomize
