Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Randomize
