Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
