just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
