She went from zero to smokin in five shots
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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