I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
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