I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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