I accidentally burped into my bong.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize