I'm lost and stupid without you.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
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