You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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