would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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