Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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