i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
