There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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