We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize