Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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