Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize