There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
