dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
