So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
