Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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