My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Randomize
