Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
