3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
