I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
