you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize