I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize