I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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