my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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