Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
