I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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