Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
