Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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