Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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