Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
