I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
