Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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