Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Randomize
