Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I want to fling myself into the sun
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
