it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
