is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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