I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize