she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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