O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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