dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
