HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
