i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
