it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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