i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
the day after is always just damage control
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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