No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
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