I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
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