you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
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