just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
