He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Randomize
