Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
