I'm eating all of the evidence.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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