remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
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